Confessional 9

[Bobby Jon]

Everyone voted precisely how they were supposed to; poor Brooke actually thought she was in danger! After voting out Rafe, him and I had a marvelous conversation, and I'd love to share it with you folks! Of course, I trimmed out all of the boring stuff:

Bobby Jon: Next time you threaten somebody, do try to back it up...okay?
Rafe: Listen up, dickweed. You really have to be more selective in your friends
Rafe: I'll have you know they tried to make me switch from Brooke to you
Bobby Jon: since I was immune
Bobby Jon: that's rich
Rafe: so that says a lot about how highly they think of you
Rafe: not this round
Bobby Jon: yea oops
Bobby Jon: you said I was next anyway
Bobby Jon: dumbass
Rafe: they think you're a jerk
Bobby Jon: awesome
Rafe: they want you gone
Bobby Jon: badass
Bobby Jon: you done?
Bobby Jon: if not, continue
Bobby Jon: by all means
Rafe: I'm not the one who started
Bobby Jon: I enjoy a sore loser ;D
Rafe: I think you're the one who decided to try to belittle me
Rafe: I'm not a sore loser
Rafe: ask Jim
Rafe: if your final goal is to simply make it to the F2 then you'll be fine
Rafe: if your goal is to win you're already out
Rafe: it takes class to win
Bobby Jon: indeed
Bobby Jon: You are very wise.
Rafe: I would say thanks but considering the source...
Rafe: I'll pass
Bobby Jon: Probably for the best
Rafe: I assure you it is
Rafe: so if you're done trying to fuel your raging ego
Rafe: I'm over being voted out
Rafe: I get it
Bobby Jon: Then quit talking

Doesn't Rafe realize...he had me at "dickweed" ;D . Rafe has officially joined the "Let's Hate Bobby Jon Fan Club", but I don't mind, angry little men amuse me. Finally people are seeing the many sides of BJ!! Unfortunately, these guys are now on the Jury and I will get raped up one side and down the other in the final Tribal Council. But don't you worry my precious P.W.s, I have prepared myself for this...BJ has been practicing with monkeys . (Eww?)

In other news, I have convinced Brooke that Cindy should be our third. Now it's just a matter of getting Cindy to forget about Brandon and agree with my plans. I may have to make things a bit ugly...by smearing Brandon's good reputation and all that, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

This will allow me to become the Survivor Pimp I always aspired to be; one hoe on my left, and the other hoe on my right! Things can't get much better than that, can they? I honestly would have considered allowing Brandon to be one of my bitches, but his boobs aren't quite big enough for my taste.

I have also arranged Morgan's departure from the game, instead of Jamie (who would be the obvious choice). I did this for a few reasons: Morgan is a bigger challenge threat, everyone hates Jamie so no one will attempt using him in the final six, and finally...it may actually give me some Brownie Points with Jamie for "saving" him for at least one more round.

I am now 80% positive that Jim has the Secret Immunity Idol. My goal is to make him feel completely safe (I've been doing some serious ass kissing with that boy...I dam near confused myself with one of my hoes), so he should feel pretty confident in the Final Five, which is when he'll be joining the Jury.

P.S. "A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession." -Albert Camus